Fumo lot. Too. Fumo
rubbing time and sometimes I hear the radio, hear and pass
life as he turns on the radio.
I smoke a lot. In the ashtray is
ideas and poems and
voices of friends I have. And I have
mouth full of blood and blood
leaving cracks in my skull and my whole soul
tastes blood Fresh blood
not know whether pig or man I am, in my soul
stabbed by women and children moving
naive, clumsy, in
this life I know.
I suddenly felt his chest, nervous, and I feel
a heart. No,
there anyone that thing called heart
but perhaps in the spirit, in that
I drink blood and the blood of Christ, the only blood
in this world that there is as
programmed incorrectly or
factory life as a tailor
has forgotten who he is and continues to live, or perhaps
clock and the hours pass.
I palp, nerves, eyes and feet and toe
hand stick it in the eye, and I'm dirty and my life
smelling.
And dream that I lived and somehow my name
and that this story is true, this absurd
betray my eyes,
this delirium in Veracruz, and that this country is true
this place like hell, that
call Spain, I heard the dead
the
Hell is better than this and it seems more.
I say I am Pessoa, as Pessoa was Alvaro de Campos,
tell me that being drunk is not pregnant
life is
drunk of life, not death, is a blood
than that other thick
filters through the roof and walls and holes
life.
And no other fellowship or another spasm
this
wine and no sex or woman
that glass of alcohol
kissing lips that glass of alcohol
's in my brain, feet, blood.
this glass of dark wine or white
gin or rum or whatever
- gin and beer, for example -
it as children, and is not
flight or evasion, but dreams do
only real life and everything possible again
and grabbed the cup and the neck of the life and story
to any creature that is likely to be
hence the life of the gods
and some days I am Cain, and other player
poker and drink whiskey perfectly
a hunter other gifts that otherwise have been
but mine is like in "Sweet Bird of Youth"
a hunter beautiful gifts and alcohol, and other days, a murderer shy
psychotic, and other
someone who has killed who knows how long, what city
among drunken sailors. Some remind me
say
with glass in hand, talking a lot, talking
to exist that
nothing better to say
itself a proposition of Wittgenstein while climbing
the tide of blood and wine the soul.
Or someone lost in the galleries of the mirror looking
His Bride. And sometimes I'm
Abel
has a perfect plan to rescue and restore life to men
and sometimes I cry for not being a black slave in the south
crying
between plantations!
ruin is so beautiful, so deep
know all his colors and is like a symphony
finishing music,
as music playing in the afterlife,
and I have no blood in the veins, but alcohol, I have
blood in the eyes of drunk
and soul invaded by blood as a puke, vomit
and soul in the morning, after spending
overnight
swearing in front of a rubber doll that God exists.
Writing in Spain is not mourn, is to drink, drink
rabies is not
resigned to die on street corners, drinking and bad
is to say, blaspheming against Spain
against Iran without gods but
statues of gods, is
drinking in the church with organ music is falling
drunk at concerts and red wine stains and blood
"Le livre des masques" Remy de Gourmont
wet fall
drooling and dumb and collapse like a tree with lanterns
of this cultural festival. Writing in Spain is to have
to edge in this blood alcohol
madness and does not justify anything or anyone, no shadow
of which there were at first.
And say when they died, have
and head in the mouth and the saliva of suicide
scream at the shadows, to the many ghosts there and in this paradise
spectra and the deer I've seen in the forest ,
and birds and wolves on the street and
lurking in the corners.